Chapter 2: What Happened When I Sought the Lord in the First Place!

For the Day of Trouble

How the Lord delivered me from severe depression and my own hypocrisy.

At a certain age, I started wondering about God.  If He was, and who, if so.  And IF there was a God, just who made me, what implications that would make for my life.  I was being raised in a home, like all of us, that had a certain belief system, even if that belief was a particular out right religion, or one that tries to ignore that question all together.

I remember wondering if I was going to have to give an account of my life to when I died… like in front of everybody! And I especially started wondering if there really was an eternal place called hell, because I really didn’t want to go there, if there was. I knew if I didn’t find a God, or my Creator, I was going to bag the whole religion scene and live however I pleased till I died. But if I was sure I did, I wanted to live 100% committed to Him, especially if He was good!! So I prayed a simple prayer asking God to reveal Himself to me in a way even I could understand. I reasoned, if He actually made me, He would know what I was thinking. And if there was no God there, He wouldn’t even hear me anyways!

Then the first place I looked was evolution.

What would you think of a jury, who would only hear one side of a case? If you’ve only heard the evolution side, I hope you’d at least be willing to hear the reasons many believe it’s a lie. One good resource would be the documentary, Expelled: No Intelligence allowed, by Ben Stein, who does not even claim to believe in Jesus Christ. Answers in Genesis and the Creation Research Institute are more great resources if this is an area you struggle with.

As I pondered evolution, I reached my hand up to open the curtain so I could look at the stars and the trees. It was then that the thought hit me that I’d just made a decision in my spirit which my body was obeying, and even that act alone gave me a sense of accountability, which I knew just couldn’t evolve.

The Order of Creation

The order of creation’s not just an accident…
No, the order in creation is to give us all a hint
That there are unseen powers, from which we get to choose,
Exactly what we will believe, be it win or lose.
Then I spent time approaching different religions and the Bible as an absolutely pure skeptic, because I wanted to be more than sure of what I was getting myself into. This is when I found the Bible is the only book that told me the ugly truth that there was nothing I could do to go back and try to cover up or hide the sins of my past… nor make myself good enough for God. The Bible said even one sin was enough to keep us out of heaven in James 2:10, but the Word of God also offered the solution… The forgiveness for our sins that Jesus Christ paid for when He died and rose again! I had heard of the event, but this information hadn’t become personally applicable to me until then. I hadn’t realized my God given right and or responsibility to either accept or deny Christ’s shed blood for my own sins. A sheer act of faith on my part… as well as for all.

As I realized this was an invitation from God… that I had the freedom to accept or deny the sacrifice Jesus Christ made on the cross became very personal, as I realized it was not just for the sins of the whole world that He died, but for me, and my own sins as well!!

That’s when I realized I’d found the truth. I was a sinner, who needed a Savior. As I got in my knees, alone in my bedroom, I told God that I was sorry, and I even admitted that I even liked my sin even though I knew it was wrong, just to be totally honest. I had no idea why He’d love me that much, to be willing to die for me, to forgive me. But because in His Word, He promised He would, I took Him up on His offer, and I asked Him to be Lord of the whole rest of my life. That is when I was instantly changed, filled with a joy and a peace that words can’t describe. I was changed and I knew it. I’d been born again, what the Bible calls being made a new creation.[1] I’ve never felt so clean inside! Just like my spirit had a bath! I remember not being able to get enough of reading the Word of God. And what’s more, I remember now wanting right things that I’d never desired before. THAT is where the power comes from! From the Lord’s Holy Spirit taking up residence, once you open the door![2] Did you know our very bodies are to be the temple of God??

Ephesians 2:8-10 states, “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of ourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”

We’re also told, “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”, Romans 3:23.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”, Romans 6:23

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”, Romans 5:8.

“Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”, John 14:6.

“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”, 1 John 1:8,9.

“Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”, 2 Corinthians 5:17.

We are even told about Abraham, the father of the Jews, “For what does the Scripture say? Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.”, Romans 4:3.

Would you like to receive Jesus by faith like I did, today?


If you just took your very first faith step, congratulations! Welcome to the family of God!!


If you’d like to sign your name, while it’s being written in the book of life, please feel free to do that here!

But you’re not ready, I hope you keep reading. It would be an injustice to not also share verses such as “He who has the Son has life, he who does not have the Son does not have life.”[3] And Revelation 20:15, “And if anyone’s name was not written in the Book of Life, he was thrown into the lake of fire.”

“I assure you and most solemnly say to you, the person who hears My word [the one who heeds My message], and believes and trusts in Him who sent Me, has (possesses now) eternal life [that is, eternal life actually begins—the believer is transformed], and does not come into judgment and condemnation, but has passed [over] from death into life.”, John 5:24.

Jury of One

For when it’s all finished…
When it’s all done…
It all boils down to a jury of one!
For when it’s all finished…
When it’s all done…
One thing will matter, your faith in God’s Son.

When we receive Christ, according to John 1:10, we receive the right to be called sons and daughters of Almighty God. The Bible refers to it as being born again in John 3:3 or as 2 Cor. 5:17 says, “Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!”.


I don’t think that God’s warning about spending eternity in the fires and brimstone of hell is anything to joke about. Please know that about the following poem. But I think it does make a good point about what being a Christian is, as well as what it’s not.

Heaven or Bust

It seems on earth there’s a lot of confusion
About the term ‘Christian’ so many are usin’
So if Jesus Christ is not who you trust,
Why claim you’re a Christian? It’s heaven or bust!